Are you stuck in a cage of your own making?

Does your self-doubt and fear hold you back?

Welcome to Own Your Ambition, the weekly newsletter designed to give professional women the tools they need to be successful. As a former CEO who made it to the C Suite from an entry level, I know first hand what it takes for women to realize their ambition and reach their career goals.

I have also come to terms with the fact that much of my success comes from having a badass attitude; not shying away from opportunities, challenging the status quo, and owning my value and ambition. Succeeding in that corporate arena is my comfort zone, and I’ve helped hundreds of women get the recognition and promotions they deserve since starting my coaching practice in 2007.

Yet, as I ponder in this personal essay what it would mean to try something totally different and expand my creativity, I find myself vulnerable and full of self-doubt. It’s pretty much uncharted territory for me.

If you can relate, I hope you will comment and share your own experiences!

My grandson Jakey calls for his mama early in the morning to take him to the potty. Three years old, he recently graduated from his crib to a ‘big boy’ bed. As a baby, the sides of the crib kept him safely in place with his wobby and small assortment of favored stuffed animals. Yet, now free from the confines of the crib’s wooden barriers, he remains in place, unwilling to venture to the bathroom on his own which he takes great pride in doing all day long. He’s free but doesn’t know it. He’s now in a cage of his own making with the door wide open.

My daughter, affectionately pokes fun at her younger sibling and his wife, calling Jakey’s reluctance to get out of bed on his own the Stockholm Syndrome, citing their delay in buying him a bed as the reason for his behavior. Whatever the reason, the reality is we all create cages of our own.

We give up our power to our self-imposed barricades, often unconscious of their existence until we suddenly crash into them with the realization or perhaps frustration that we lack momentum or mojo in our lives. It is then that we have the opportunity, the choice, to finally come to terms with the fact that we may, just may, be holding ourselves back from living the life of our dreams.

I have a cage of my own that I have fortified with excuses and false legitimacy for decades. Now in my third chapter, the beast is wailing and flailing and fighting to be free. Years of dutifully being a star pupil, good daughter, decent parent, successful businesswoman, published author, podcast host, I’m stuck in a narrowly confined space of my own making. Surrounding me are mirrors mimicking the public persona I’ve carefully crafted over the years. In these mirrors, I only see myself the way others do, and when I muster up all my will and determination to envision my authentic self in the reflection, the glass clouds over, preventing me from finding that woman and a vision of her future.

It’s far easier to remain in place and live the third chapter of my life as I’ve started it than leave my comfort zone. Unlike Jakey, I can’t be rescued by anyone other than myself. No knight in shining armor gallantly presenting himself at my doorstep, no risk proof plan falling from the sky to show me the way. No. Breaking free means forcefully punching and shattering the glass, stomping on the shards with conviction, in order to experience life outside the enclosure. I hesitate and tell myself I’ve already broken enough glass ceilings in my corporate career to last a lifetime. Am I ready to break more? Shit.

What’s at stake is freedom itself. That freedom has a name and it’s Bonnie. Bonnie is waiting on the outside, the real Bonnie, a stranger to herself and to most, other than her most intimate friends, who see more potential in her than her mirrors reflect.

Knowing what to do with freedom is scary as hell. There’s such a force within me screaming to release myself and spread my wings in new creative ways, yet at this point in my life, I’m measured. I’m extremely knowledgeable about women’s leadership and advancement. I climbed my way up the career ladder to the C Suite after all! But, I ask myself, is there a way to use my creativity to empower more women to own their ambition and their talent? What about a screenplay, a documentary, or a novel based on my life experiences?

Who am I kidding? With unbridled honesty, I must confess, that being cautious in the areas of my life that involve financial security have, in fact, constructed the very walls that now prevent me from finding the courage to free myself and pursue the limits of my creativity. I’ve asked myself, why would I even consider leaving a career that has served me well, that I’ve worked a lifetime to establish, in order to pursue others so risky that my sacred nest egg could evaporate before my eyes.

I’ve always been cautious about certain aspects of my life, it’s true. Yet many of the leaps I’ve taken would terrify others. It’s puzzling to me that for some of these pursuits the courage just appears without intention. I’ve never even flinched at offering my heart to a man that attracted my attention. I left a marriage with two young children but no plan. I made an offer on a house on Martha’s Vineyard after browsing just one day and moved to the island by myself to find a sacred space to heal after cancer. These are examples of situations, many in fact, where I never debated with myself about the risks and rewards. I jumped in.

There’s no denying the reality that there’s more history behind me than runway ahead. But that has little to do with the dilemma in which I now find myself. Frankly, I sometimes question my talent, my ability to try new creative outlets, and it’s that insecurity that holds me tightly within the confines of complacency.

Is there a creative cell left in my body after years of meeting the stylized requirements of Forbes and Business Insider, Chicago Tribune and other outlets, two non-fiction books? What am I thinking?

And why would I ever consider for a nano second that trying something completely new would be ok?

Do you ask yourself these questions?

As I explore my options, a future path into the unknown frightens me to the core. All the cells in my body band together in solidarity shrieking, what the fuck are you thinking? Some days the sound is deafening. Do you want to make a fool of yourself? Can you risk a colossal failure at this point? What tools do you have to break free from the cage of your own making?

But I also understand intellectually that, in reality, there is no cage. The door is open. In fact, it’s wide open, and outside the confines of my own limiting beliefs and fears, Bonnie is there waiting to be discovered.

Does your insecurity and self-doubt hold you in the confines of complacency?

Do you also have a self-imposed cage?

Do your fears and limiting beliefs prevent you from stretching yourself creatively?

I’d love to hear from you.

New Online course for ambitious women to step up and lead!

Managing is Fine—But Are You Ready to Lead?

Are you tired of working hard without seeing the promotions or recognition you’ve earned?

In today’s competitive world, ambition alone isn’t enough—it’s about leading with impact and commanding respect.

Imagine earning a promotion, becoming a high-earner, and finally getting the recognition you’ve been striving for.

The Female Career Accelerator - Online Program will guide you through the steps to career success.

This 6-week program is your chance to transform your career and life.

Check it out today!

And here’s the link to a FREE training video. Enjoy!

https://www.female-career-accelerator-online.com/watch-video