Asking "how am I doing?" is a useless question.

If you truly want constructive feedback, learn how to ask!

Welcome to Own Your Ambition, the weekly newsletter designed to empower and give professional women the tools they need to be successful. As a former CEO who made it to the C Suite from an entry level, I know first hand what it takes for women to realize their ambition and reach their career goals.

It’s a common practice to wait for quarterly or annual performance evals to find out how you’re doing. Usually these evaluations are pretty comprehensive and helpful. But waiting for the feedback and not asking for input on a regular basis is a mistake!

It’s a missed opportunity to not only get the advice you need to improve your performance, but also to show your commitment to your career. If you wait too long, you are setting yourself up to be blindsided by not knowing how others perceive you and your work.

But here’s the thing! You need to know HOW to ask in order to get the constructive feedback you need.

In this newsletter, you’ll learn why you may hesitate to ask and the best way to get the most helpful feedback.

“How do you think I’m doing?” you ask your manager.

They reply, “I think you’re doing ok.”

Now, I ask you. How is that feedback helpful?

How many times do you miss opportunities to improve your performance, help position yourself as a leader, and demonstrate your commitment to your career, because you either don’t ask for feedback or don’t know HOW to ask for feedback?

Feedback is an essential component of professional development and career advancement. It serves as a tool for reflection, growth, and improvement, enabling you to understand your strengths and areas needing improvement. Constructive feedback can be a powerful catalyst to help you achieve your career goals.

With good feedback, you gain insights into your performance from an external perspective. This external viewpoint can often reveal blind spots, areas that you may not even recognize as needing improvement. Those blind spots have the potential to derail your career, or at the very least, keep you stuck where you are.

How to get useful constructive feedback.

Let’s be honest. what can you possibly conclude from the above response to your request for feedback?

You might conclude that your manager either is too busy to give proper feedback, doesn’t know how to do it, or could care less about your professional development.

But giving your manager the benefit of the doubt, you need to accept that it’s your responsibility to improve the way you ask for feedback. It’s also your responsibility to ask!

Asking for feedback is often overlooked as an important tool for career advancement and growth.

Getting constructive feedback is easily be solved by learning how to improve the way you make your request for feedback.

There are several reasons you may not be getting good feedback.

First of all, maybe you resist asking for feedback because you don’t really want to get the feedback. Maybe due to fear. Maybe because you don’t value it. You may not consider it important, and you believe you already have all the answers and know what your manager and other’s think of you, so why bother (dangerous move!) Or, you truly believe you’re doing a good job and don’t need input from anyone (and that’s really dangerous because, let’s face it, you may be kidding yourself.)

Another factor is that you may not be great at asking for feedback.

When you ask if everything’s ok and get a simple answer of “yes”, your tendency may be to breathe a sigh of relief and leave it there. But in doing so, you miss the opportunity to get specific constructive feedback.

It may also be true that your manager is uncomfortable giving feedback, especially constructive criticism, or they may not be very good at it. This is a case when you need to manage your manager. Help them to give good feedback.

And, don’t wait until they offer the feedback on their own. There could be valuable insight and information that you’ll miss, and it may be then too late to take action.

My message to you is to be proactive, ask for feedback, and learn how to ask so you get the information you need for your professional growth.

How to ask for feedback to get the specific information you need.

Here’s a sample conversation:

YOU: How am I doing with the current project?

YOUR MANAGER: I think the project is going well.

Don’t stop here. Keep digging.

YOU: Can you be more specific? Where do you think I’m going a good job?

YOUR MANAGER: I think it’s all pretty good.

Don’t stop here. Keep digging.

YOU: For example, am I managing the client well? I know there was some tension with the client initially.

YOUR MANAGER: Well, now that you mention it, the client has been unhappy with the progress.

YOU: Did they say specifically what they were unhappy about?

YOUR MANAGER: They expected the project to be completed by now.

YOU: Yes, I understand. There were several hiccups that pushed out the timeline.

YOUR MANAGER: I know that, but the client needs to be informed when there are changes. I think you need to communicate more often and keep them in the loop.

YOU: How do you suggest I do that? (great question!)

YOUR MANAGER: Schedule weekly calls with leadership and send them regular updates.

You get the picture here? Initially the manager’s response was just “it’s ok”, that is, until asking more specific questions opened the door to the feedback that was helpful.

It’s good idea to validate feedback. “So let me be clear, what I hear you saying is” …Getting clarity is critical to make sure you’re interpreting the feedback the way it was intended.

Ask for an example if appropriate.

Thank them for their honest feedback.

Hold yourself accountable for improving.

Feedback is only valuable if it leads to action.

When you get feedback, immediately put an action plan together and then communicate with your manager what actions you’re taking.

Implement the suggested changes and hold yourself accountable for your progress. This may involve seeking additional training, adjusting workflows, or developing new skills. Regularly reviewing progress and seeking further feedback can help ensure your continuous improvement which can lead to your advancement.

By understanding what is working well and what is not, you can focus on developing specific competencies that are crucial for your role. This targeted improvement can lead to increased efficiency, higher-quality work, and greater job satisfaction.

Don’t get emotional if the feedback is negative.

Receiving feedback, especially if it is critical, can provoke emotional reactions such as defensiveness, embarrassment, or frustration. It is important to manage these emotions and approach feedback with an open mindset. An emotional reaction will shut down the conversation and possibly cause your manager to avoid further feedback discussions.

Another benefit to asking for feedback is that it shows you are willing to do what it takes to produce good work, and you are committed to your professional growth. You are demonstrating your leadership potential, and increase the possibility you’ll be promoted.

In summary, receiving and utilizing good feedback is crucial for career advancement. Proactively seeking, listening to, reflecting on, and implementing feedback helps you overcome challenges and leads to continuous professional growth. It positions you as a leader. It shows you are committed to your career and your ambition!

But remember, how you ask for feedback determines the quality of the response.

Do you regularly ask for feedback?

Do you get solid actionable information?

If not, it’s time to improve the way you’re asking!