No, I'm not getting the coffee.
Don’t ever let others diminish or disrespect you.
Welcome to Own Your Ambition, the weekly newsletter designed to give professional women the tools they need to be successful. As a former CEO who made it to the C Suite from an entry level, I know first hand what it takes for women to realize their ambition and reach their career goals.
As professional women, we are challenged every day to stand up for ourselves and it’s our responsibility not to let anyone diminish us or rob us of our respect and power.
Last week, I wrote about the 9 ways we give our power away and due to the great interest in the topic, I decided to use an example from my professional experience to demonstrate how to deal with a toxic situation without pissing everyone off and potentially damaging your reputation and losing business.
It’s a delicate dance of wanting to be liked, owning your power, and maintaining composure despite your inner voice screaming at the disrespect.
I’d love to know if you’ve had similar experiences and how you’ve handled it.
And, I’m ready to announce the launch of my new 6 week online course, The Female Career Accelerator! Details at the end of this newsletter. LMK if you have any questions.
The dark paneled walls, the long mahogany conference table lined with sturdy leather chairs screamed testosterone. And as the partners of the prominent New York venture capital firm slowly streamed into the room, it was obvious that this office was a testament to their masculine power and toxicity.
They were white, straightlaced, Ivy-leaguers, proud of their gender, heritage and background; confident of their ability to control millions of dollars and make or break companies who entered their kingdom seeking their blessing and financial support.
That was our purpose for this meeting. We, three principles in a tech start up, were there to present our pitch in hopes they would graciously open the coffers and gift us with the capital to put our vision to work.
One by one, they entered the room.
We had already set up our projector and carefully placed our printed material by each chair. We were ready. We had practiced this dog and pony show for a few weeks to other firms and were eager to receive their feedback and hopefully interest.
They didn’t smile or automatically engage with us. No small talk. This was all business.
Focused on getting this presentation done, it wasn’t immediately obvious to me that I was the only woman present.
It wasn’t obvious until one of the VC partners approached me with what I naively thought would be an outstretched hand and introduction.
Instead, no handshake. No smile.
He had as request:
Would I go and get coffee for everyone?
WTF!
Either he didn’t realize who I was or most likely, he did but didn’t care because I was a female after all, and that somehow gave him permission to ask me to run the errand before the start of this important meeting?
What did I do?
I smiled and calmly put out my hand and said, “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Bonnie Marcus and I’m one of the three principles of this firm presenting to you today.”
He clearly was taken back and didn’t immediately respond except to accept the handshake. He then left the room to signal to another female, most likely his secretary, to do the deed.
BUT, I didn’t need to get the coffee!!
He got the point without me having to be confrontational or spit out the nasty comments that had been swirling in my head and now at the tip of my tongue.
Lessons here:
Stand in your power.Don’t ever let others diminish you!
Don’t be so intimidated by someone’s presence and confidence that you forget your value and who you are. No one can take that away from you.
Stand tall and show yourself the respect that others may not bestow on you.
Exciting news!
I’m excited to announce the launch of my 6 week online course, The Female Career Accelerator on February 3rd, for professional women to get the promotions and recognition they deserve.
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Are you feeling stuck, undervalued, and overlooked for the promotion you know you deserve? The truth is, being great at your job isn’t enough to break through the barriers that hold so many women back.
Imagine finally earning the respect, recognition, and high salary you’ve worked so hard for.
With The Female Career Accelerator - Online Program, you’ll gain the tools, confidence, and strategies to transform your career and thrive as a leader.
Join this proven 6-week program designed to help you secure promotions, build influence, and claim your seat at the table.
It consists of 6 video lessons and weekly 1-2 hours of coaching and discussion.
Check it out here!
I agree, Holli. It will take all of us women standing up in our power to hold the line these next few years and beyond.
Beautiful you stated Bonnie! As I listened to Pete Hegesworth (sp?) confirmation hearings where powerful women are challenging him and he’s dodging all of their questions, I can’t help but think what must be going through his head having done one of those women part of his community and a former life. It will take all of us women standing up in our power to hold the line these next few years and beyond. So grateful for your work.