Taking a Break from a Broken World

Notes from a weekly ritual that brings me peace.

Welcome to Own Your Ambition, the weekly newsletter designed to give professional women the tools they need to be successful. As a former CEO who made it to the C Suite from an entry level, I know first hand what it takes for women to realize their ambition and reach their career goals.

This week I’m taking a break for my normal newsletter full of tips and strategies to advance your career. I’m taking a break because we all need to give ourselves permission to do so, but also, because I’m experimenting, exploting my creativity and trying something new…a personal essay.

I confess. It’s scary to put out personal content. I’m more comfortable with offering advice from the many lessons I’ve learned from my experience. But we all need to change things up every now and then! That’s how we emerge stronger and better.

So here it goes…

It’s about a mile and a quarter down the hill to my happy place. Each Sunday afternoon, sunscreened and sneakers on, I embark on my journey to peace. The sun, breaking through the early morning marine layer, is my invitation to grab my Kindle, the keeper of all fantasy and fiction, and leave the reality of my home to escape the constant alerts of tragic news and hate. This week it’s the continuous droning over the Epstein files (who gives a shit and why is it getting so much air time?), ongoing ICE raids grabbing and detaining people working the fields, the cutting of federal funding for foreign aid and NPR/PBS of all things. (I can’t imagine a world without Big Bird!) Where the hell am I? I often feel like a foreigner in my own country. Or maybe I’ve time traveled back to the 1930’s. Every day brings a new shock wave to my system struggling to stay grounded and joyful in what seems to be a broken world.

It's a glorious day, temperature a Santa Barbara perfect 73 degrees. No humidity. Birds chirping to one another, oblivious to what’s happening in the world. Do they know something about life we don’t? I envy their freedom to fly away as my feet, stuck on the ground, keep me mired in the ugliness around me.

But today, I’m not engaged. I’m celebrating my freedom to do as I please. This isn’t my normal apple watched pace of a 15-minute mile. This is a stroll, different by design to rejoice in the beauty around me. I take an intentional deep breath inhaling the sweet scent of honeysuckle, my eyes feasting on the diverse color and textures around me. I’m only five minutes into the walk and I’ve already entered a different universe, one that I choose to inhabit.

As the temperature warms, I strategically search for bits of shade that dot the sidewalk ahead, zig zagging for the slight relief, mindful that my brow is beading with sweat. Funny, that’s where I sweat the most. I don’t like to perspire unless I give myself permission to overheat when I’m running or dancing. Hmmm…my mother never liked to sweat. I guess that’s DNA working its magic. But that’s too deep a thought for today. I’m not going down the mother rabbit hole. Not today.

I smile. Children in the playground provide a welcome backdrop of pure joy and trigger the memory of my own carefree childhood days with my neighborhood pals on Dogwood Lane. Homework done. Check that box. Snack wolfed down quickly so we could get to the best part of the day, we find each other on the street after school. Not a worry in the world as long as we make it home by dinner, that is unless a scraped knee from falling off the lower limb of our front yard dogwood tree requires some mecuricome and Band-Aid care. Those were the days of endless fun, when riding bikes, raking up piles of leaves to jump in, and building forts were the primary pass times.

I’ve reached Alice Keck Memorial park. Stepping into paradise, I follow dirt paths through magnificent gardens, circling a pond where ducks lazily float and turtles bask in the warmth of the afternoon sun. Not a hint of the world’s turmoil. I often grab a bench in the shade and read here, but not today. Today I have a specific goal.

I continue until I reach my destination, a petite French patisserie transplanted to Santa Barbara. Here, one could easily think they’re sitting in a Parisian sidewalk café. In fact, often the primary conversations here are in French. I’m transported. I order my decaf cappuccino, it is afternoon after all, and caffeine is a no no unless my goal is to stay up 2 days! I choose my seat at a small wrought iron table in the corner of the patio. Large red umbrellas block the sun’s rays and add to the coziness of the outdoor experience. If one has the desire, the close proximity of the tables provides ample opportunity for connection What is it about this environment? No one here is talking politics, immigration, or war that may dominate conversations in other coffee shops around town. This is a sweet haven of peace, and the pastries aren’t bad either when I choose to indulge.

Sipping my cappuccino, I open my Kindle. Soft discourse surrounds me, but today I’m keeping to myself, choosing to focus on the words lighting up each page. I’ve always believed in physical books, holding the story in my lap, sometimes highlighting what caught my eye. But I’m addicted to the lightness and ease of this device, slipping it into a pocket, taking it with me everywhere so my reading is rarely disrupted for long. A Mother’s Day gift from my family, it entertains me every day.

Books provide me with an escape plan that I choreograph. I can choose my adventure be it a beach read romance, history, or a murder mystery that challenges me to figure out the killer before the book’s end. I’m envious of the authors’ talent to weave stories together and capture my attention. A true gift.

My cappuccino finished, I read until the chapter ends and prepare for my return home. The steep hill is not as relaxing as the stroll down, but once finished, the climb affords me a sense of accomplishment. I slip the key into the front door and re-enter my space, but now as a different person, having traveled to peace for a couple of hours.