The Power of Exclusion: How Everyday Misogyny Holds Women Back at Work

The Hidden Ways Women Are Sidelined and the Playbook to Push Back

Hi, I’m Bonnie Marcus and welcome to Own Your Ambition. As a former CEO, published author and executive coach, I empower women to successfully navigate the complexities of the workplace today.

Systemic bias and sexism are alive and well in the workplace, even in the most progressive companies. If you let it, misogyny will steal your power, undermine your leadership, and deplete your energy.

Yes, it’s a challenge. But it's time to stand in your power, be strategic and savvy, and push back against the unlevel playing field.

Here’s how to push back with political savvy.

Photo generated by author with ChatGPT

My former client, Lisa, tells the story of how her manager with whom she had a great relationship did not invite her on an all day golf outing yet invited all her male counterparts. Lisa, not one to stay silent, had lunch with him a couple of weeks later and asked him, “If you knew I played golf, would you have invited me?” And he said, “Probably not.”

“It was a man who I respected, who I knew liked me very much -- and, who was very much a straight-laced guy, and there was never any question that he treated men and women equally. But then, there’s the off-campus event, and he didn’t invite me.”

Lisa was right when she commented further. “It’s these types of events where people let their guard down. That’s where people talk about things that you may not talk about in a formal meeting. And that’s where you build relationships. To be excluded from that because you’re a woman excludes you from those important conversations.”

This is a great example of the way misogyny shows up in the workplace. It can be overt but also subtle and it’s exhausting, and it remains ingrained in the cultural landscape.

It hides behind “jokes,” in performance reviews, in who gets invited to the after-hours dinner and golf outings, and who gets interrupted in meetings. It lurks in decision-making rooms where women’s ideas are credited to male colleagues or dismissed as “too emotional,” “too aggressive,” or “not a team player.”

For women in leadership, and those aspiring to it, this reality isn’t just frustrating. It’s dangerous. It actively undermines authority, limits advancement, and creates environments where women are forced to navigate power dynamics that men never have to consider.

In reality, it’s a systemic power grab. Now is the time to address how you can protect your credibility and position yourself strategically within it.

How does misogyny show up?

Misogyny rarely looks like overt hostility. Instead, it’s masked in “helpful” feedback, mansplaining, cultural norms, or gendered expectations of behavior.

I know you’ve probably experiences at least one of these!

• You have to prove yourself over and over again, while men are often presumed competent. A single mistake on your part can confirm bias, while your achievements are often minimized or attributed to luck.

• If you’re an assertive woman, you’re labeled “abrasive.” If you’re ambitious, you’re called “selfish.” You’re “intimidating” if you’re direct.

• You spend extra emotional labor managing egos, softening messages, and performing diplomacy to be heard while producing the same or better results as their male counterparts.

• You’re excluded from networks. Key decisions often happen informally — on golf courses, in private chats, or at dinners women aren’t invited to. Being left out of these spaces keeps you off the radar and means being left out of influence.

• You are often seen either as a sexual threat or surrogate mother — rarely simply as peers. Both perceptions undermine authority and devalue professional interactions.

• You’re passed over for promotions you deserve. Often for a less competent man who’s a favored member of the boy’s club. This happened to me and it was devastating.

• You don’t have access to high level sponsors. Sponsorship opens the door for high achieving women to get the visibility and credibility they need to advance. Unfortunately, men are still rewarded sponsorship more than their female counterparts.

• You’re not paid equally. Women are paid 83% of what a man gets paid from the initial starting salary through retirement. At their prime, women face the motherhood penalty which contributes to less overall income and often a loss of leadership status.

And you wonder why you may feel like an outsider?

All of this sends a clear message that you’re working in a system that was not built for you and does not support you and offer a level playing field.

It’s no wonder that many talented women either:

• Opt out of leadership altogether,

• Stay in mid-level roles to avoid the constant scrutiny, or

• Leave toxic organizations for more psychologically safe environments.

This is not a “confidence problem.” It’s a culture problem!

And yet, until that culture shifts, women still need strategies — not to survive, but to strategically navigate the terrain with clarity and power.

Challenge Misogyny with Political Savvy

Silence protects the system, not the individual.

When misogyny goes unchallenged — in a meeting, in a review, in a hiring decision — it reinforces bias and signals acceptance. Yet calling it out can come with backlash.

This is where political savvy becomes essential. It’s not about playing games; it’s about understanding power dynamics, reading the room, and using influence effectively.

Being politically savvy doesn’t mean you compromise your values — it means you understand how to work within the system to shift it.

Let’s be clear: misogyny isn’t women’s responsibility to fix. But understanding how to respond effectively, without shrinking or self-sabotaging, is a powerful form of self-protection and advocacy.

Here are four actionable ways to be strategic and savvy:

1. Call out the bias but be strategic about it

When bias or condescension happens, call it out strategically, not emotionally. You don’t always need to confront directly to reclaim power.

• Use reflective questioning: “That’s an interesting point — can you help me understand what you mean by ‘too assertive’?”

• Use neutral language that shines a light on bias: “It sounds like we have a different point of view about the expectations for me on this project. Can we talk about that?”

• Document any patterns you see. You may need them later for HR, performance reviews, or to simply validate your own reality. Here’s where you can use ChatGPT to record meetings. (Thank you, Bette A. Ludwig, PhD 🌱 for this great advice.)

2. Build a Power Network of Strategic Alliances

Many women seek emotional support from peers (which is essential), but not enough.) Build strategic alliances. Power flows through networks — and you need to be part of it.

• Identify who has influence and access, not just who’s “nice.”

• Cultivate male allies who can open doors and amplify your voice in rooms you’re not in.

• Support other women visibly. Publicly endorse their work, nominate them, and normalize women advocating for each other.

Visibility in networks provides both protection and opportunity.

3. Challenge Gender Stereotypes with Results and Facts

Misogyny thrives when women are perceived through gender related assumptions and stereotypes, not facts. Counter this with data, results, and narratives that reinforce your value.

• Quantify your impact whenever possible. Tie to business outcomes.

• Communicate achievements clearly and often — not as bragging, but as reporting results, and lessons learned.

• Rehearse how to talk about your work. Use a trusted colleague or ChatGPT to help position yourself well.

Tip: Own your narrative before others distort it.

4. Use Power Thoughtfully

True power doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it’s about speaking at the right moment, to the right person, in the right way.

Being politically savvy means:

• Understanding the informal power map — who influences decisions, and how.

• Timing your advocacy when momentum is on your side.

• Knowing when to escalate, when to ally, and when to walk away.

Power is most effective when it’s intentional and strategic, not reactive.

(For more tips on how to use political savvy to position yourself and successfully navigate the workplace, check out my book, The Politics of Promotion: How High Achieving Women Age Ahead and Stay Ahead.

Reclaim Your Voice and Authority

When you reclaim your voice and authority in the face of misogyny, you’re not being “difficult.” You’re being a leader.

Every time you correct a false narrative, take credit for your work, mentor another woman, or insist on fair treatment, it chips away at the structure that keeps women small.

Misogyny thrives in silence and isolation. Political savvy thrives in connection, awareness, and courage.

So don’t dim your ambition to make others comfortable.
Don’t shrink to fit spaces that were never built for you.
Instead, learn the system, read the players, and play your hand with brilliance.

Because when women in leadership hold their power — fully and unapologetically — they don’t just change their own trajectory. They change the culture for every woman who follows.