When is enough enough?
Passed over? Marginalized? It's time to take back control of your career before it's too late!
Welcome to Own Your Ambition, the weekly newsletter designed to empower and give professional women the tools they need to be successful. As a former CEO who made it to the C Suite from an entry level, I know first hand what it takes for women to realize their ambition and reach their career goals.
I know that it sometimes feels like the cards are stacked against you. You’re working hard and getting nothing but lateral positions. You’ve been promised promotions but then passed over for someone less qualified. You want to get ahead yet you’re struggling to figure out what you can possibly do to make that happen. And maybe you’re ready to say f*ck this, give up and just take a back seat.
Don’t let that happen!! You’re too valuable to sit on the sidelines.
In this newsletter today, I offer tips on how to stop playing small and take back control.
Like Nike says, “just do it!”
There’s no doubt that women still have many obstacles to their advancement in the workplace. Let’s face it. We haven’t seen significant progress, and the recent elimination of DEI programs in many companies has halted that progress even further
The biggest challenges for women are gender bias and stereotypes, unequal pay, work-life balance pressures, lack of mentorship and sponsorship, and fewer leadership opportunities. We often feel like we’re hitting our head against the wall, or should I say we’re continually bumping into the glass ceiling.
It’s easy to look at this list of obstacles, get overwhelmed, and give up. After all, you’re doing your best every day and getting nowhere fast. It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting.
You may believe the cards are stacked against you so why keep trying?
But falling into that victim mentality is dangerous. It paralyzes you from taking any positive action on your behalf.
Instead of focusing on everything that holds you back, why not focus on what you can control?
Let me tell you, my climb to the C suite was not without challenges. I was passed over, missed out on a promotion I deserved to a less qualified man.
But then a light bulb went off. I said “enough!” and I refused to be a victim and I took back control of my career. I refused to be taken advantage of when I knew I had value. And that’s when my career trajectory changed. I broke through the glass ceiling and forged my own path forward.
So did Katie.
Every day, Katie scrolled through LinkedIn, watching her old classmates celebrate promotions, six-figure salaries, and executive titles.
Meanwhile, she sat at the same desk, in the same role, earning just enough to keep up with the cost of living.
She had done everything right—got the degree, put in the hours, led projects—yet she remained invisible.
Her boss praised her work, promised growth, but year after year, nothing changed.
She watched less experienced colleagues climb the ranks, their confidence soaring while her own doubts grew louder.
Was she not good enough? Not strategic enough?
She worked harder, hoping effort alone would open doors, but effort wasn’t what got people ahead.
It was visibility. Influence. Playing the game.
The realization hit like a punch to the gut—she wasn’t being overlooked because she lacked talent.
She was being ignored because she wasn’t positioning herself as a leader.
The frustration turned to fire.
No more waiting for permission.
No more hoping someone would finally recognize her worth.
She would make them see her.
If the door wouldn’t open, she’d break through the walls.
That’s when Katie called me.
And, then there’s Emma.
Emma stayed late, took on extra work, and made sure every project exceeded expectations.
She led teams, solved problems, and carried the weight of responsibilities others ignored.
Yet, when promotions came, it was always someone else—someone louder, someone less competent, someone who knew the right people.
She clapped, smiled, said “Congratulations,” while anger burned in her chest.
Did no one see the late nights, the sacrifices, the results she delivered?
She was told to “be patient,” that “her time would come.”
But patience doesn’t get people promoted, visibility does.
She watched men with half her skill climb the ladder while she remained stuck, “too valuable” in her current role to move up.
The frustration turned to exhaustion, then to resolve.
If playing small kept her overlooked, she would take up space.
She would stop waiting to be chosen and start making herself impossible to ignore.
She would speak up in meetings, take credit for her work, and network like her future depended on it—because it did.
No more hoping. No more waiting.
She wasn’t just going to be ready for leadership—she was going to claim it.
And the next time a promotion came, she wouldn’t be passed over. She’d own the room.
That’s when Emma reached out to me.
Are you ready to own the room?
Are you ready to break through?
Let me ask you this. How long have you been struggling? Have YOU had enough?
If you’re working really hard but you can’t get the raise, promotion or job you deserve. I hear you. I’ve been there.
If you’ve been passed over, feel undervalued and invisible, I know you. That was me.
Here are 7 things you CAN control.
1. Your mindset
Your mindset is a powerful force. You change your mindset, you change your energy. Once you decide that you have the power to take back control, a dramatic shift happens that affects everything, your communication, your body language and posture, your behavior, your presence. And people will notice and begin to see you differently. It may be subtle at first, but the change will be recognizable to others.
2. Your value
Recognizing and honoring your value gives you the confidence advocate for yourself and others.
Take the time to identify your value proposition, how your work leads to positive business outcomes. Once you know your value prop, you’ll understand how your work helps others reach their objectives. You own your value. Communicating that builds influence, visibility and credibility. It’s a power position.
3. Letting go of the status quo
Sometimes the status quo is your comfort zone, and your fear of change holds you back. Is this true for you? If so, put a plan in place to change. You control this!
How are you currently perceived by your peers, direct reports, and your manager? Ask them for feedback. You have the power to change their perception by changing your behavior and attitude. Come out of the shadows.
Create a plan to be more visible across the organization.
Volunteer for projects outside your comfort zone that have visibility with leadership.
Offer to mentor younger colleagues.
And don’t let your initiatives go unnoticed. Make sure your manager and peers know what you’re doing.
Put on your big girl panties and get out there!
4. If the doors not open, open it.
And if the door’s open, don’t be afraid to march through it!
Unfortunately, many women wait until they feel 100% qualified before they think they are ready to push forward. They hesitate to apply for jobs, ask for raises and promotions. They lose out on opportunities because of this, and it affects their career advancement.
What are you waiting for?
If you’re waiting for someone to open the door for you, you’re wasting precious time.
And what do you have to lose to ask, to step up and take advantage of opportunities? Even if it doesn’t pan out, you still win by showing up as committed to your career. And people notice. You control the narrative.
5. Stop playing small
People will ignore you if you hide in the shadows and just focus on your work. You aren’t even on their radar.
Speak up in meetings even if it’s just to acknowledge a point someone else made. Make sure you speak at least once in every meeting.
Get the agenda for meetings ahead of time. Do your homework and research the topic so you can speak intelligently about it.
Raise your hand. Offer your own ideas/opinions.
Sit up front. Don’t hide in the back row. Show your interest. Ask questions.
Offer to speak on a topic at the next meeting!
6. Don’t avoid office politics
Not paying attention to the workplace dynamics is a mistake. Watch and listen. Observe who has power and influence and align yourself with these people. Know who supports you and who doesn’t. Don’t let yourself be blindsided because you have your head down working all the time. That’s a sure way to miss out on opportunities that may be available to you.
7.Ask for help.
Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness. Look for a mentor or sponsor in or outside your company. Ideally, a sponsor is the best choice for opening doors and promoting you. I realize that opportunity is often politicized and challenging for women, but putting a plan in place to identify and build a relationship with a potential sponsor, a high level executive who has the power and influence to impact your career, is a positive move. Reach out to your manager or HR rep to see if there is a sponsorship program for high potential women.
Working with a coach is also a power move. I know from my own career, that if I had a coach, it would have helped me position myself and navigate the workplace dynamics much earlier, and would have most likely guided me to avoid some missteps.
A coach gives you an outside perspective on your specific situation, assesses your strengths, and helps you overcome obstacles to position yourself as a leader in a highly competitive and often male-dominated space.
Hiring a coach is a power move.
One thing you need to remember and embrace is that you are powerful beyond your wildest imagination. Your power is within you ready to be released. Trust yourself. You have what it takes to get ahead.
Step up!
You can break down barriers.
Create the career and life you’ve always wanted.